dinne with dr. and mrs saucehousen

so, yeah...those people on tuesday that eat all the spag sauce...i call them the saucebergs, or the saucensteins, or the duke of saucebury...

here's the thing...we serve a pretty big plate of noodles (i dunno, half pound maybe?) with an eight ounce ladle of sauce on top.  eight ounces.  that's also a half pound.  now, that's a lot of sauce.  really, it is.  but wait...this table usually orders THREE OR FOUR extra sauces.  that's two more pounds of sauce.  and that's just for the first plate of noodles.  if anybody has a reorder (it's all you can eat, ya know) from that table i can expect to serve up another cup of sauce as well.  sometimes i just want to take all their extra sauce and stick it in a goddamn milkshake cup and put a straw in it.  it's because of them i don't eat spaghetti anymore.
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and the wife is bummed, cause we made pretty mack daddy spag at home, but i just see so much of it, and all the extra sauces actually grosses me out...if a real italian were to see how these people eat pasta, they'd be appalled.  but i guess it's not totally their fault...i don't really eat anything at work anymore...it's not food, it's product.  other cooks can attest to this (i hope).  when you first start at a restaurant, you eat pretty much everything on the menu...it's pretty important for both the cooks and servers to know what everything should look and taste like.  so you try it all.  then, after a few months, you start getting bored with the menu and you start playing with the ingredients in the back to make your own dishes.  then, a few months later, you start seeing the food as product and your job, as opposed to food.  it ceases to look appetizing, although plates can look good...i mean, i can put a plate of spaghetti in the window, and the sauce is all piled nice in the middle, and it's steaming, and it looks good.  but i don't want to eat it.  it's like a painting.  i know a lot of people that are like, "man, if i worked at a restaurant, i'd never have to have food at my house!" and it doesn't really work like that.  granted, a lot of my servers eat meals at work, but the cooks generally don't.  except jenney, who comes in hungover and eats greasy sandwiches and then like clockwork pukes twenty minutes later.  i very rarely eat at work, although i nibble a lot.  listen, i work right next to a giant pan of bacon.  all day long.  bacon.  so there's that.  also i taste all the sauces and soups every day to make sure they're all ok.  i also have a habit of walking over to the server station and taking single pieces of lettuce and dipping them in bleu cheese dressing.  but if i ever eat anything substantial at work it's usually a cheesesteak, cause really, you can't go wrong with cheesesteaks.

so, yeah...anything else?  hmm...

oh yeah!  hey, i dunno how many of my readers watch top chef, but i've been addicted since the first season.  as i've said before, i am in no way a chef, i am just a line cook in a nice little family cafe.  but i like watching, cause i love food, and it's just fun to see cooks on tv being cooks.  but i gotta tell ya, there's these two brothers on this season, and although they make incredible food and have excellent technique, they're both just total douchers.  i wouldn't want either of them anywhere near my kitchen, no matter how nice their food is.  i base a lot of my opinions about the contestants on top chef (and other cooking shows) on how much i would like to work in a kitchen with them.  iron chef michael symon, for instance, seems like he'd be a fun guy to share a kitchen with, like he could crack the dirty mama jokes i'm used to.  i actually heard rachel ray is a filthy mouthed chain smoker, which is damn near required in line cooks.  but these two brothers are just total jagweeds.  neither one of them looks like they ever have any fun cooking, they don't look like they know any good jokes or listen to megadeth, like neither one of them has ever had a ten minute towel-snap fight with the girls.  they say things like "i felt i executed that dish well" and they're always using yuzu and sous viding everything, and they're just fucking douchers.  every time one of them says something i always mutter "get the fuck out of my kitchen".  i bet neither of them has ever done drugs at work, and i bet they'd tell me to turn the radio down and clean up my station.  fuck those guys!  there's a fat, bearded, redhead guy on top chef this year that i'm totally rooting for, cause he's fat, bearded,  and redheaded.   like me.  and he seems like he'd do jager shots and take his shirt off, or go to a slayer show with me. 

so, to sum today's lesson up, don't eat that much fucking spaghetti sauce, i don't eat at work, and those two guys are fucking douchers.