ok so maybe not so bad

ok.  i apologize to my loyal reader (readers?  does anybody still read this thing?), cause i have been a pissy little missy lately.  i have a problem getting down on myself, and i have a problem seeing the positives in a situation where there is negatives.  anyway.  i'm really trying to give my brain a 180 and keep myself positive and happy.  work is going a lot better for me than it was a couple weeks ago.  i feel like i've finally gotten where i wanted to be as far as knowing the menu and the flow of the kitchen.  i've had two weeks of good days at work.  i feel like i'm becoming part of the boys.  i actually found myself kind of training a new guy yesterday...nobody told me to, it just seemed like it needed to happen.  he is a dishwasher but our dish guys have to do lots of run-n-fetch for the cooks and occasionally heat stuff up, so i just lined him out on where stuff was and what to expect to get asked to do.

anyway, it's good times.  i am starting to like it a lot, and feel like i fit in and feel like i kick ass and all that.  the only problem i got now is that i'm not getting enough hours.  i really don't want to have to go somewhere else and start all over again, but there's tons of guys in the crew and we all need our hours...i'm not established enuf at this place to go demanding more hours or else, ya know?  i wish i was.  but i'm not.  there is another cook leaving next week to go work at a gas station (i know, right?), and i'm gonna talk to the kitchen manager about maybe picking up one of his shifts.  i really want this to work out.  it's getting fun, but i'm actually having trouble paying my bills at this point. 

aah, shit...if it's not one thing, it's another, right?  i guess i could have worse problems than three days off.  if i was getting 9+ hours a shift things would be ok but when it's slow i'm low man on the totem and i get sent home.  i'm in danger of not even hitting thirty hours this week.  i can not pay my bills with thirty hours a week.  and i got all excited cause last week i got a couple hours of OT, and i was like, "oh, i can do all the OT they wanna give me" and then i see my schedule and it's only four days, and then next week it's only four days, and i'm torn between being stoked i got three days off to sit on my ass and be lazy, and having to pay my bills.

i'm sure it will all work out.  (see?  positive attitude.)  i want it to work out.  a couple weeks ago i wasn't so sure.  but on friday i brought the boys all red bulls and i've been staying after and having shifters with the guys occasionally and i finally feel like i broke thru the fences and am running around with the big dogs.  it's good times.

anyway.  i guess there isn't much point to this post.  i just wanted to post something that wasn't all "boo hoo poor me".  things at work are pretty awesome.  things in my wallet, not so much...but i'm working on it.

on a side note, this is the worst day in history for me to be stuck at work...the mets play the yankees on sunday night baseball, and also it's THE GODDAMN FINAL EPISODE OF LOST EVER.  i told my wife she can only text me about the game.  fuckin abc...i make sure i have tuesdays off so i can watch lost and they put the fucking finale on a sunday.  suck it, tv execs...