ok, so i'm not really copying my boy mikey's idea for a decade end list, i swear. i've actually wanted to write a list like this for a while, plus its a totally different list, but i guess you could say he gave me the inspiration.
MY TOP TEN LIST OF SHIT I HATE FOR THE DECADE 2000-2009
1. people that park in the no parking lane in front of grocery stores and target and stuff. it happens the most at wal-mart, though i hate to admit i even go there. i don't care how fat, lazy, old, whatever you are, and i don't care how quick your stupid wife is gonna be. you can't park there. it says so, in big yellow fucking letters, but you can't see them cause you're fucking parked on them. you are a douchenozzle and you make me sad to be a human.
2. skinny jeans. i guess it's not so much the jeans (or that goddamn wacky anime hair) but the fact that i'm so old i've officially turned into "that guy"--the guy who says "everything was way cooler when i was your age". but, let's face it...it was. the 80s were awesome! and skinny jeans are stupid! bah! you kids get off my lawn!
3. that goddamn jalapeno on a stick guy. your act is tired, and you suck it bad. you're a fucking ventriloquist, for gods sake...do you also wear knickerbockers and think everything costs a nickel? fuck you jeff dunham. i hate you.
4. late tables. i've said it before...you can't walk in to target ten minutes before they close and expect to shop for an hour, right? no, of course not, they close in ten minutes silly! but if it's hooters, or the olive garden, and especially where i work, apparently it's fair game. my boss says he likes the money, so we have to serve them. i say bah! we're closed and i wanna go home! screw you people for making me late getting home.
5. people that drag their goddamn dogs everywhere with them. with the one exception of my buddy gator bobb, who takes his poodle pretty much everywhere, i cannot stand this behavior. i guess if you're going for a hike or whatever its all good but i've seen soooo many dogs left in cars in my parking lot. don't bring your dog to the restaurant with you. you might bring him a hamburger, but it's pretty busted leaving a dog in your car while you eat. you're a jerk.
6. people with gigantic lift kits on their trucks. with the one exception of my buddy gator bobb, who has a toyota 4 runner with like 36 inch tires and does mad four by four stuff up in the woods, i cannot stand this behavior. wait, that's twice i've said that...actually i once told my wife "if that guy wasn't my friend i'd fucking hate him". anyway...love ya gator. back to the lift kits. i can tell somebody who takes their rig up in the woods from somebody who just has a small dick. you know who you are.
7. twilight. i haven't seen i but i bet it sucks and i hate having to hear about it all the time.
8. people who don't use their blinkers. you know how when your hand is on the steering wheel and you're driving? yeah. your blinker is that thing your left pinky is sitting on. use it.
9. non hd programming. come on comedy central and cartoon network, get with it. also a lot of griz games are on non hd channels, which blows. i have like three hundred non hd channels and i never watch them cause the picture sucks.
10. having to work when everybody else has the day off. but ya know, that's part of the restaurant business. when you play, we work, when we play, you sleep, and we don't ever get to sleep. my wife has all these awesome holiday days off and i always have to work on holidays cause people that don't work in restaurants tend to eat in restaurants on holidays. i haven't gotten to take my girl to dinner on valentines day in like twelve years, and i never get to get drunk in the morning on st. paddys day like any good irishman would. ah well. i love me some line cooking.
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4 comments:
good list mikey. also, isn't that pantara? thank god it's not butt rock.
well the list isn't nearly as complete or awesome as yours, but you did guess right, although it's spelled pantEra. but bonus awesome points are yours....you're the current points leader too.
I agree with everything on list but number 3. I have know idea who you are talking about, but I don't want to know either. I would put Guy Ferrio, Captain Douche from the food network. I fucking hate that guy. Why does he get to have so many shows on TV. Fuck him and his ugly hair. Now he has his own knives with glittered flames on the handles. What?? His own knives, really? Does he even know what a boning knife is? How about an offset serrated? Fuck him, Bobby Flay, and Rachel Ray.
Yeah, I hate the people that think parking rules only apply when they're not in a hurry... go fuck yourself people with no regard for parking lot ettiquette! Did I ever tell you about the time I got a red card in an adult co-ed recreational soccer game for telling the ref to go fuck himself? I might take recreational soccer too seriously.... anyway, what I really wanted to say is this; there's a reason griz games aren't in hi-def... no one outside of Montana gives a fuck! You should be grateful you can get them on cable!
Seriously though, Happy New Year, kid!
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