stuff i think is totally stupid part six million

so, all the servers are dressing up for halloween, which i think is stupid.  i feel if you're an adult there's only two reasons to dress up in a costume...

1.  if you're going to a costume party.  that one makes sense.  costume parties can be kick ass.  i'm down for this.

2.  if you have kids and they want you to dress up and take them trick or treating.  i would totally dress up if i had kids.  no sweat.  i actually look forward to it.

however, if you work at a restaurant, especially in the kitchen, then dressing up makes no fucking sense.  first off, it's hot in my kitchen, and most costumes are a burden, unless you're a sexy blankety-blank, in which case you'll probably just get hot grease spilled on your naughty bits.  also i'm sloppy as all hell when i'm busy, so i would probably ruin a costume by spilling spaghetti sauce or gravy all over it.  also, i'm 32 goddamn years old.  i'm not gonna show up at work in a giant foam spongebob rig.  i'd end up lighting myself on fire.  one spit of grease and that thing would melt and collapse around me like a goddamn dying star.  also, it's stupid.  you think i'm gonna rock an eight hour plus shift in a goddamn spider man suit?  fuck off.  it's dumb.  and another thing, all the servers are dressing up as "hardcore griz fans" which is pretty much how they dress every saturday anyway.  i hear there's gonna be some face paint or something.  anyway, it's dumb.  tammy is going as prince, which will probably look maybe a little cool at first but after three or four hours of spilling ranch and taco soup all over herself, plus maybe crying a little, she's gonna look like hell.  people will probably think she has a zombie costume on.

listen, if you're twenty something, hot, and into the bar scene, fucking go for it.  play dress up.  i used to.  it's all good at that age, but man, you hit that thirty mark, and things like that start to seem childish.  i'd rather just go home and put my sweats on and sit on my couch and watch tv.  am i lame?  sure.  do i think coming to work dressed up as the joker or a sexy blankety-blank is considerably lamer?  fuck yes i do.

at least the other cook on saturday feels the same way i do and i'm sure we'll have a good time pointing and snickering and judging and telling everyone they look dumb and i hate their stupid faces.

anyway, it's only friday and it's been slow as hell all week.  i got a wee talking to about my on the clock cell phone usage, but so did literally everybody else that works there except the old ladies who can't figure out how to text.  anyway, i've been trying to be good, i keep my phone in my jacket in the back instead of in my pocket, but i still sneak back there and check my shit every once in a while.  i had been just standing in the kitchen for hours texting my boy mikey about tv shows.  the boss doesn't like paying me for that, and i can understand, but sometimes honestly, i got shit else to do.  i try to look busy but i'm not very good at it.

also, i'd like to make a request for everybody reading this to send happy thoughts to the greatest server ever and my good buddy tiffani, as the cancer she thought she had beat has come back agressively.  she beat it once and she can do it again, but she needs all the support she can get.  kick it's ass, tiff...we love ya!