Confessions of a Line Cook: no offense, but we hate you

Sunday, October 31, 2010

no offense, but we hate you

wow.  ok.  first off, sorry i don't blog much anymore.  i tend to blog a lot when i'm pissed about something and the last couple months have been awesome.  love my job.

anyway, it's funny to me how much we in the kitchen complain about everything..  it's almost a game.  well, maybe not complain...we judge.  show up five minutes before we open?  you're a douchebag.  show up five minutes before we close?  douchebag.  order lunch (or god forbid, dinner) items during brunch?  douchebag.  bring more than three people out with you?  fucking douchebag.  we refer to the last hour of service as douche hour, and any table bigger than 8 is referred to as a douchetop.  pretty much, if you come to eat at our place, you will get ridiculed and called names.  of course, it never leaves the kitchen, but still.  we see you sitting there, eating and drinking, all happy and content, and in the back of the house we're discussing your sexual preference and the questionable genetic pool you hail from.  i think that's pretty standard in this business.  we depend on customers to make money, yet we cannot help but talk tons of shit on them.  i guess there's the fact that we view normal people as wierdos, and our brains go "seriously?  you want wings at breakfast time?  what a tool."

today is gonna be extra shit-talkie, cause it's stupid halloween.  if you don't already know my thoughts on halloween, feel free to go thru my archives and read last years halloween post.  halloween is for kids.  don't dress up.  that's stupid, and so are you.  in addition to most of the servers dressing up (some of them did it yesterday!) i bet half our douchebag customers will be dressed up.

ah well.  today is gonna give me a big ass bullseye to work with.  and my verbal darts are sharp, yo...

2 comments:

Cornstarch in my crotch said...

I love judging people. it makes the day go by so much faster. At this place I worked we served a full menu until 1am. But normally it was burgers and shit after 10. This one asshole, Adriane, would not order food until five of one. An dit would normally be a steak MW or Chix alfredo. He would sit at the bar for hours and wait until 1255 to fucking order.
A couple of years later I was at the bar, drunk, and he walked in and sat down. We had a talk about his ordering @ 12:55 and how disrespectful it was. It felt great to "enlighten" him to my side. I doubt it did any good but it felt awesome.

Unknown said...

Mikey.......good to see you back blogging.....love your stuff....I check it almost everyday in the hopes that there is something new......