Confessions of a Line Cook: December 2010

Monday, December 20, 2010

newsflash--you are NOT allergic to gluten

ok, first i'd like to point out that i actually know people that are seriously allergic to gluten.  it's a very real thing.  however, i've been cooking professionally for almost thirteen years, and only in the last year have people started telling the waitstaff they're "allergic to gluten" and asking us to work around it.  the whole time i've been cooking i've occasionally heard "i'm allergic to tomatoes" or "i'm allergic to avacados" or whatever, and that's fine.  i can hold the toms on your sandwich or burger set.  but this whole gluten thing pisses me off.  it seems like its trendy to be "allergic" to gluten.  listen, if you wanna keep gluten out of your diet, that's your business...but leave me and all restaurants in general out of it.  we take food allergies very seriously, and trust me, if you're actually allergic to gluten, eating in a restaurant is extremely sketchy.  we bake all our own bread and burger buns and pretzels and whatnot, so there's constantly flour everywhere.  i can't promise there won't be any gluten on your meal.  if you are allergic to gluten, then most likely you have a pretty specialized diet.  don't push it on me.  don't come into my joint and demand we fix something for you.  if you don't see it on the menu, don't ask. 

and don't even get me started on vegans...i fucking hate vegans and all they stand for.  they're racist.  racist against meat.  and i got no time for racism.  if you wanna be a stupid hippie and not eat meat, whatever, but avoiding all animal products, even the ones that don't hurt the animal (eggs, butter, milk, etc)...that's just meat racism.

STOP MEAT RACISM NOW!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

quote of the day

"i'm still trying to decide if i was just really drunk, or if that actually was a bus"--nico